You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Randomize
