This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
