I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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