ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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