his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
