I don't think brook has ever known best
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize
