Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
