Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
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