when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Randomize
