He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
