It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
