even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
