Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
