No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
