Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
whose ass print is on the piano?
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
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