also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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