I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Randomize
