Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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