GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
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