this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
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