I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Randomize