...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
