Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
