Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
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