So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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