Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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