So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
