Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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