May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Randomize
