Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Randomize
