I'm pants shitting drunk right now
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
