I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
