Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Randomize
