This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
