was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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