How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize