Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Randomize
