What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
sex in a hospital.. check
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Randomize
