I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
