Don't make out with my wife yet
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
