Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
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