I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Randomize
