he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
