I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
