she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
