Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
