I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
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