and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
All the doctor said was why
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
I think I just sharted jello shots
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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