That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
