he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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