Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
I'm passing your future prison.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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