the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
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