At least make sure they are 18
Why
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Randomize
