Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
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