I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Randomize
