I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
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