Where are you?
In a non slutty way
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize